Me, without my layer of 'look at me' clothing is the real me. My body is not to everyone's taste, but everyone doesn't have to look at me, they can't see the person I am inside, and they don't live in my body. I do. What I think about myself, how I treat myself, the way I talk about myself... these are things that really matter. One day I might try to explain on my blog why I grew up loving and accepting the person I am and the body I have, but for now what I will just say is this.... I get so tired of women slagging themselves off. Sometimes it feels like a constant barrage of self pity and body loathing and it just becomes to much for me to stomach. I cannot understand why women insist on focusing on all the things about themselves that they don't like, rather than celebrating the bits they do like! We quite rightly baulk at others pointing out that we are fat, or have big bums or bad skin, so why do we do it to ourselves? Even to each other?!
The reason I'm writing this post is because I saw this advert recently and I couldn't think of a better way to express how important I feel it is to accept and appreciate your body. I am not scared of being called fat, I am not scared of (so called) health professionals who want me to loose weight, and I am not scared that people won't find my fat body attractive. I am scared out of my wits every time I go to my family history cancer check that they might find a lump. I am not scared to tell the MRI team that I'm too big for the smaller scanners and need the large one, but I'm shit scared that the MRI might find a tumour. I am absolutely terrified that I will loose my beloved mother to this terrible disease. She was beautiful before chemo when she was a size 24 and she is beautiful now (after her traumatic treatment) at a size 18, because it is her as a person that is important, not the way she looks to others on the outside. She is glad to be alive, glad her body survived such a terrible ordeal. Frankly she is the strongest person I know, body and soul and if she looked like Jabba the Hutt it would not diminish who she is even in the slightest!
I would miss every inch of fatty cellulite dimpled skin I have if it were taken away from me against my will, wouldn't you? This knowledge makes me appreciate my body all the more.
In conclusion, what I'm trying to say is that there is no point in comparing your body to others, or worrying about what your body 'should' be like. The best thing about the human body is that they come in all different shapes and sizes, they are interesting to look at (and touch!), but underneath the flesh we are the same, and we must learn to be grateful for the (frankly amazing) body we have. One day your body will change, ageing is the good and totally natural part of life, but if your unlucky you might loose parts of your body or it might stop function the way you want it to and you will curse yourself for wasting all your energy hating it. Accepting your body is not always easy, I understand that it's extremely difficult for some people, but it is so worth trying. If you really don't like it then change it, if you can't change it then try to love and accept it for all the amazing things it can do for you, like walking, talking, THINKING!. Don't take it for granted. If you can change your mindset it might change your life, so the next time you get the urge to complain about your cellulite, think about why you feel the need to hate on yourself... maybe you will decide not to?