Inspire my arse

I know I write posts like this quite regularly, but despite appearances I really don't enjoy writing moany posts.... I write lots of them because I come across a lot of shit clothing! If I order an item of clothing, I order it because I want it. I want it to fit and I want to wear it. What I don't want is to have to keep buying stuff that I have to send back all the damn time! It becomes exhausting you know?! I am TRYING to give these companies my money yeah?!  Sorry for the quality of the pics... my snappy cam doesn't like black clothing!

On to my little New Look order...

I was expecting this skirt to be very short but it's actually a decent length. The size 24 is above the knee on me but it'll depend on your height. The problem I have with this is that it's basically a thick jersey, which is far too soft and stretchy to work with a zip like this... you can see how bent the zip is, it ruins the look in my opinion... will defo work from some gals, but not me!

 I was really excited about this jumper. I really wanted it to fit and be nice. I went for the 24 'cause I didn't want a tight fit... wanted this to wear with jeans really. I WASN'T EXPECTING IT TO BE DIPPED HEM! It says 'slouchy fit' not dipped hem! It's not just a little dip, it's properly dipped.

 Basically it's long on my ass (the bit I happily show off at every opportunity) and short on my belly (perfect to draw attention to how massive it is!). I HATE DIPPED HEMS! seriously I am sick to the back teeth of  this style. I always hated it.

I tried it backwards to see if I could salvage it, but nope. The zip comes up too high so it's super uncomfortable. Oh lord... but this is nothing compared to the beaut I saved until last!

What the bloody hells bells is this dress supposed to be? I've only ever tried a few Lovedrobe items, mainly because they do veer towards the short-side as a rule, but I figured I might be safe with this plain dress, it looked like it might be almost midi length. I now realise that it looked long because the bust is SO HIGH! My tits would have to be touching my chin to fit in to this size 24 monstrosity! It is one of the wierdest cuts I've ever come across!

Typically my camera batteries died at this point (it was as exhausted as me I guess!) so I had to take the other pictures on my phone. Look at this utter madness... there is no room for boobies at all!

Disaster! This could have been a lovely dress is the sizing and cut was in anyway designed for a plus size woman. The colour is so vivid and beautiful. What a massive dissapointment.

This is what life is like for fat women. We can't discover that the cut of a dress is bonkers in the shops so we have to order it, wait for it to arrive and then try it at home... the anticipations makes the disappointment so much worse, and having to then return it is a pain in the ass. This is why it is so important for companies to make sure their sizing is accurate, consistent, and that their patterns are sensible!

There are loads of things I want to try from New Look Inspire at the moment, many of which are from Koko / Lovedrobe, but I haven't got a clue what size I would need and they're too expensive to just buy a range of sizes! BOO! I'm not enjoying shopping with online retailers at the moment, I'm getting most of my new stuff from Ebay. Wait till I tell you about my Bon Prix palava! I'm so pissed off with it all!

Plump pencil

I'm really loving skirts at the moment.... I dunno what's got into me. I am a dress girl really, but I wonder if that's because it's easier to chuck on a dress than think about matching up separates? I've been massively influenced by other fatshion bloggers, there's no doubt in my mind, but as I have discovered (through occasionally disastrous experimentation!) that what looks good on another blogger, doesn't always look good on me. I don't really care what other people think about how I look, but I do care about what I think. It's about how I feel in clothes.... trust me, if I see pictures of myself and think 'yuck' you're likely to see that outfit on ebay quite quickly! 

For YEARS I didn't wear pencil skirts because I couldn't find tops I liked with them. The problem was that I was trying to hide my belly, so I wore things that were long enough to cover it which always ruined the skirt. It totally works for some people but it depends on the proportions of your body.... I have a long torso and short legs, so a fitted skirt with a long top just makes me look super frumpy and mega stumpy. I think my Domino Dollhouse Galaxy Pencil skirt is what caused the shift in my brain. Tuck it in. Pull the skirt over my top belly (that's what I call top roll of belly fat!) and tuck the top in. Suddenly I could wear pencil skirts again! 

A pencil skirt with a fitted tee or jumper is fast becoming one of my favourite outfits. I'm sure that having the option of getting long and stretchy skirts for cheap has made a real difference... in order to wear the waist as high as I like, I need quite a long skirt to ensure it's still knee length or longer. Primark has got the monopoly on skirts for me, they're so cheap and the patterns are so good!. I know they only go up to a 20, but I always size down in stretchy skirts or they tend to swamp me. For bigger girls I think ASOS curve are brilliant at pencil skirts and are still reasonably priced.

There are a few things you have to accept if your going to wear this kind of outfit. The first is that you can still see a bit of the shape of the belly rolls. Seriously, it doesn't matter, if your wearing a good outfit nobody cares about your lumps and bumps except you (well, unless they are full-on fat haters or fat-phobic, in which case they'll fear or hate you no matter how hard you try to hide your belly!). You also have to accept that your back fat will be really visible .. same thing as above, nobody cares. In this particular outfit people were too mesmerised by my shoes to pay attention to my copious rolls of fat!

It's not like I  have a flat belly and can therefore 'pull off' this look.... take a look at my Primark post here and you can see how mega big my belly looks in some pencil skirts. It's all about the fabric and pattern.... my tip is that if the fabric is super stretchy and thin you need a super hectic pattern to stop your belly pulling all the focus. I try to go for thicker and more sturdy fabrics because they look much better on me and create a better silhouette  I totally recommend a pencil skirt and tucked-in top as a massive confidence booster. Pencil skirts make me feel smart, powerful and sexy. You'll be seeing many variations of this outfit in my working week pics from now on!

I think this might be the next skirt added to my growing collection. I've been wanting to try Pink Clove but to be honest everything on there is just a bit too short for me! I had decided to wait for their next collection but then I saw this ponte tulip skirt and thought I might have to give it a go. It's only £10 and I love ponte so I think it is worth a punt, and to be honest I'm in dire need of a plain skirt because currently they're all patterned.... I have so many patterned tops that it's hard to match things up!

I'm also keeping an eye out for some affordable Jessica Dee style skirts, because I am desperate to bite her style.... she wears a-line skirts so well, they are always fabulous! 

If money grew on trees I'd get one from Jibri, but I can't really justify spending £80 on a skirt when I already have an overflowing wardrobe! I'm keeping an eagle eye out for a reasonably priced high waisted poofy a-line below-the-knee skirt in a fabulous fabric or print!

Wardrobe Weekly

 Monday

I think the best thing about the weather changing is being able to wear some of my thicker dresses. This is a firm favourite!

 Dress 24 - Anna Scholz Black Label

Leggings XL - H&M

Shoes - Brako

 The Garnier hair dye I used has lightened my roots to a slightly orange brown and turned my ends black. Mehhhhhh.....

Tuesday

 Dress 22-24 - xclusive fashions

Leggings 20 - Primark

Boots - Primark

Wednesday

 I dressed like a tennis player on Wednesday! I need a green belt to wear with this dress really, but until I find a good one it has to be black!

Dress - Vintage from Traid (size unknown!)

Leggings 20, Primark

Holographic daps - H&M

Thursday

 I was scrambling up wet ladders on Thursday to briefly work on some scary scaffolding, so I had to wear (relatively!) sensible clothing. To me that means jeans and trainers, but nobody said I couldn't wear neon!

 Double polka dots dudes!

Cardi 18 & top 20 - Primark

Jeans US20 - Forever 21+

Trainers - Nike

Friday

My new Brooch from Kate Rowland has replaced my (currently broken) mirror brooch on my mac. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I adore Arrested Development. I managed to turn my sister, my friends, my boyfriend and his entire family into Bluth maniacs with my obsession.... I got one of these for my boyfriends mum too, I'll have to hide mine from her until after Christmas! Very tempted to get on of her parks and recreation ones too!

 I felt sexy on Friday.... you can probably tell from my silly posing? I've always been a poser, from the age of about 3!

I wanted this skirt for ages but couldn't get my size until recently. You know I've been trying to find something with an oriental print for ages. Frankly the plus size offerings for this particular trend have been shit, and I'm a bit gutted about that because it was the catwalk trend I was most excited about hitting the high streets!

 This is my beloved £6 jumper from Primark untucked. I'm so very in love with these jumpers!

Jumper 20, necklace, skirt 18, leggings 20 & shoes - Primark

Saturday

I have waited AGES to wear this dress! The weather was too warm when I first got it, and it's mega synthetic. Saturday was the day to go for it.

Of course it is a bit nippy so my trusty new look inspire hoodie came with me too!

I LOVE this bright pink 'colour Elixir' from Max Factor.....

 The pigmentation is intense (much more so than with the red version) and it lasted for hours!

 I couldn't resist wearing my trivial pursuit earrings with my multi coloured dress. These were a gift from a friend yonks ago!

 We hauled ass to Brixton for the 'Brixton Come together' festival thingy.  I should have known it was going to be proper weird when I saw this fucking stupid sign...

 I made my boyfriend drag a bag full of clothes I wanted to get rid of (which weren't worth selling) all the way in because it said on the website that they had a donation tent for clothes & kids toys etc. We wondered round for a bit before I got pissed off and asked one of the trendy hipster volunteer types where this elusive donation tent was. Blank looks. 'Ask one of the people over there in the green t-shirts'. Okay, chased one of the other volunteers round, asked her.... 'I don't know, I'll ask them' - 'them' being the two girls who just told me to ask someone else. I yelled this at her as she ignored me and marched off towards the stall of bemused looking girls. A guy was brought into it who said 'errr.... I don't know, just leave it here'. Fine. I'm a grumpy bitch at the best of times, but I hate badly organized events that are staffed by beautiful but clueless people. Plus there was hardly any food so we relocated to the Village for some grub....

... we finally got round to trying 'Wings and Tings' which we've been meaning to try for ages. Oh god don't bother! What a disappointment! A chicken leg covered in reggae reggae sauce does not jerk chicken make! The chicken was cooked but not for long enough to be good - getting it off the bone was almost impossible. the rice and peas was nothing special, nor was the coleslaw, and the mango salsa was mango with fucking massive chunks of raw ginger. Basically it was balls, and it's not just me being fussy, my fella (who has much lower standards than me when it comes to food!) also thought it was balls! I was annoyed because there are some great Caribbean food places in Brixton.... if you find yourself here craving Caribbean (and don't mind a 10 minute walk or a short bus ride) get your ass to Negril on Brixton Hill - it's damn tasty. If you want a good place in the centre go for Bamoula round the corner from McDonalds.... slow service, good food!

We cheered ourselves up with cake from the tiny shop near Agile Rabbit (can never remember it's name but let me tell you, their 3 tiered orange and courgette cake with cinnamon frosting is moist and DELICIOUS!), on the way back to the weird festival. £5 for a glass of ice with a slosh of cheap red wine with some apple in it (or sangria as the stall called it!) and I got over my bad mood and danced to the madness that was 'Prince Fatty'. We only went to the thing to see Omar if I'm honest (his new album is actually pretty good!), and he turned up late, was stroppy with the sound man, sang for 10 minutes then left! Not impressed.... it was a wash out, and my lovely outfit was wasted on it!

 

 Dress 2X - Domino Dollhouse
Earrings - Gift... no idea where from!
Leggings 20 - Primark
Shoes - United Nude


Sunday

Neck sewn up on my Pocket Rocket cute-as-a-button dress, so took it out for a Sunday roast! I really couldn't be arsed to cook much this weekend, we have eaten out SO much this week!

I added my tiny cassette tape earrings because they match the colours perfectly!

 Yeah.... look at them there in that kitchen cooking up some mega Yorkshire puds! The food in the Florence Herne Hill is always good.

 Greedy bitch!

Jacket 22 - New Look
Dress 24 - Simply Be via Crazy Clearance
Leggings XL - H&M
Shoes - Crocs via TKmaxx

And before I forget....

 I forgot to put this t-shirt in my Primani post because I have hidden it away until December, but Christmas has arrived at Primark! I couldn't resist this £5 tee!

The sale tights I got actually fit quite well and are very soft and comfy. They come up to my waist - Ideally I'd like them to pull up to my bra, but it's more important that they are soft between my thighs... they feel like they won't chafe me! I may have to try the 120 denier feel black tights Primark have at the moment.... they felt super stretchy and super soft but didn't have any XL at the till & I didn't want to queue again!

I'm about to list a ton of items on ebay... I'll put a link up on twitter in case anyone is interested!

Colours & textures!

 I couldn't resist Lauren's blogger & Simply Be collaboration dress when I saw it for £23.50 on Crazy Clearance. You've seen it on loads of people, but here are my thoughts...

 I tried the 22 originally, but I sized up to the 24 - not because the 22 was too tight, but it was tight enough across my bust to make the dress a little shorter than I wanted, and I knew I'd be pulling down constantly. The 24 is more roomy and a much better length for me. I LOVE the fabric used for this, it's a sort of ponte so is thick & firm, but still stretchy. I don't need to tell you that the print is super cute do I? Yellow Ice cream cones - totally ace!

 This dress is almost perfect, the only criticism I have is that the flap on the inside of the neckline keeps popping out. I might have to sew it down somehow, but to be honest it's not a big deal, it doesn't look awful or anything, it just means you can't see as much of my boobs (and I like to get them right out in the open you know?!). I should also mention that the flash makes the dress look much more neon than it actually is. It's less lurid in real life and is a lovely bright pink without the eye watering glare my camera gives it! Get your bums over to Crazy Clearance and pick one up for yourself... they have Em's beautiful Peacock dress on there too, also £23.50!

 As I said in my previous post, I am OBSESSED with velvet at the moment! I saw this dress on crazy clearance for a measly £9 and I thought I might as well try it! They seem to have upped the price to £15 since I bought it, but that's still pretty cheap.

 I like it! It's chocolate brown, soft, super stretchy and has pockets. It's size 24 and for £9 it's a damn bargain!

It's shorter in real life than on the site, but my plan was to sew up the dress a bit to make it more fitted at the bottom of the skirt. I'm not sure I'll bother now I know it's not a midi! I will certainly wear this in December & I will definitely wear a better bra with it in future!