A song for Parsnip, episode 5 - Bring on the tears

I'm on my hols at the moment but thanks to bloggers scheduling options I have miraculously posted a new playlist!

I'm someone who finds music very emotional. Sometimes it makes me happy, sometimes it makes me sad, and I often choose the mood I want (I have all kinds of playlists that are mood-related!) but sometimes there are songs that will just make me cry no matter how joyful I feel at the moment I listen to them! You best believe that if I hear Joni Mitchell's Both Sides Now (her 2000 version) I'm gonna cry even if I'm on a beach with handsome men massaging my feet and a pina colada half way to my mouth! Sometimes it's because of the music, or the way it's sung, but often it's because of the lyrics. So here are some of the songs that I can't listen to without bawling.... Trust that I'm a mess while writing this post!

Okay so I'll start with an obvious and slightly cheesy song. Jewel's You were meant for me is a simple song that isn't much to write home about in and of itself, but the words are such a good description of a mundane break-up that it's hard not to relate to it! Like she says " hearts get broken everyday". I think Amy Winehouse made a much more musically brilliant song in this same vein with Wake up Alone, but as I was young when I first heard Jewels song it has an odd little place in my tear ducts!

Led Zeppelin Since I've been loving you. I don't need to explain this to you. It's Led Zeppelin.

I can't express strongly enough how much I love this song. Hip Hop makes me feel many things, but it rarely makes me cry. For me The Beggar is all about Mos Def's delivery. It's the frustration of trying to make someone believe how much you love them. The lyrics are pretty straight-forward and repetitive, but that's what I find it so powerful. When he screams every nerve in my body just explodes! 

Oh Dusty! Everything about this song is designed to be a tear-jerker... and it works! If you have ever loved anyone who is likely to go traveling for long periods of time, this song may be even harder to listen to than if you're just going through a breakup! The real kicker comes right at the end....

"I'd have been the shadow of your shadow, if it might have kept me by your side"

Oh god... Bawling!

So this is a random one. It's cold. A song for people who have been cheated on and have gone beyond sadness and have moved on to numb fury. When the vicious guitar comes in I loose it. I've got your number is emotional, the singing is so soft but Guy Garvey delivers it like he's spitting venom. I adore this song and it is lyrically one of my all-time favourite songs....

"Don't put this not by your face on the pillow

Don't put this letter in the pocket near your heart

Keep it in the bottom drawer where you hide the sex tools

I pray you always need them

I know. What. You. Have. Done.

Throwing advice like grenades at the table

You're spinning your wisdom in stories that change

Your lies are florescent my baby-faced angel

Grow a fucking heart love.... 

I know. What. You. Have. Done. 

I've got your number"

Yep..... I've got your number indeed!

 Erykah Badu is capable of making me laugh, dance, sing and cry. Green Eyes is about her break up with Andre 3000 (from Outkast) and is like 3 songs in one. It's really something. Beautiful, quirky and sad....

"I'm insecure, but I can't help it
My mind says move on, my heart lags behind
But I don't love you anymore
I'm so insecure
Never knew that love did this"

Been there Erykah, been there!

A Perfectly sad but humorous song about regret. I love this whole album, but this song really gets to me.

Another song that is not at all soppy but still gets my emotions going is Running up that hill by Kate Bush. The song itself is rousing, and the drums make me want to pound my fists along with it. It's not really a love song, but it's about swapping places with someone so you can experience how the other feels. The thing is it has my all time favourite lyric in it, and every time I hear it I cry!

"You don't wanna hurt me, but see how deep the bullet lies"

Sometimes for me it's a simple as that! I could apply those words to so many things in life.

I had to put Lenny Kravitz in here somewhere. My love for Lenny was DEEP when I was a young teenager. Heaven Help is one of my favourite songs to sing. When I was a dramatic teen it spoke to me about being lonely, being ready to love and be loved already! As an adult I see it differently and I think it's about a man who is ready to stop fucking about and commit to someone. As much as I like the lyrics I think the music and the delivery are really what makes this emotional for me.

I remember starts very nicely, but it descends in to a bitter rant that becomes cacophonous. I love the fury. Love it.

Ain't no sunshine is such a friggin' classic.... Bill Withers original is amazing, but in terms of bringing out the misery of the song, young Michael Jackson just takes it to a new level. His voice was miraculous.

This one is so personal to me. I don't often hear hear pop songs that touch a nerve... and as for X-Factor singers, well.... let's just say I don't have good feelings towards that programme and what it has done to music! The only person who has surprised me is Will Young. I don't think he has a great voice, but I often think his lyrics feel so genuine that they really hit home with me (and he did such good videos once he had some freedom!). I won't go into details, but I've lived through what he sings about in this song and I can't hear it without breaking down! Actually, I think his song All Time Love is also a pretty heart breaking song as it goes, that one makes me cry too as a matter of fact!

Gonna get all modern now. I love moany female singers, so I love Banks. Drowning is a great song. Love the beat and the lyrics....

"Take it from the girl you claim to love; you're gonna get some bad Karma
I'm the one who had to learn to build a heart made of armour"

She been burnt!

I very specifically like the single version of Walking after you by the Foo Fighters rather than the album version. There is something so creepy about this song, but it's still really beautiful!

I like a couple of the tracks from Corinne Bailey Rae's first album, but the second one was really something special. It is also hard to listen to because she wrote it after her husband died from an overdose. Knowing this makes the lyrics all the more poignant. I'd do it all again bops along quite nicely, but underneath it all is a deep sense of sadness that kills me. 'The Sea' is a fantastic album, I recommend it to anyone who hasn't heard it before.

While I'm on the subject of songs about lost loved ones I have to mention Jesus to a Child. You know George Michael already slays me, but this song (which is just flat-out sad in sound and feel) was written about his boyfriend who died from evil AIDS. I don't know if I've ever heard another song with lyrics that convey the sadness and loss of a loved one the way this does. It's all about what he is singing. If I've made it to the bridge without bursting into tears then I've done pretty well....

"So the words you could not say, I'll sing them for you, and the love we would have made, I'll make it for two. For every single memory, has become a part of me..... you will always be. My love."

If those lyrics don't break your heart then you don't have one. Empathy people. His grief is palpable in this song and it's immeasurably beautiful because of it.

I'll finish with Bjork, because she just released an devastating album that is so heartbreaking I struggled to listen to it. In my love post I talked about Vespertine - an album about love and sex, well Vulnicura is the flipside to that album.... it is about the breakdown of her relationship with her long-term partner and father to her daughter. It is immensely sad. I just found myself weeping when I first heard my beloved Bjork sing "Did I love you too much?" in Black Lake. If you want to wallow in some seriously dark heartbreak then listen to this album - It's not on you tube so I can't put a video up. If you seek it out, you have been warned!

Wardrobe Weekly

Monday

 I love this outfit.

 I bought a shirt from Boohoo plus and decided to try this top even though they only had it in a size 20. Glad I did because I love it.

Super comfy all stretch outfit!

 I wore my lush rose gold shoes because it was a nice morning.... I didn't know it would actually rain for most of the day. I got very wet feet on the way home!

 Top 20 - Boohoo plus

Skirt 24 - Simply Be

Tights XL - Primark 100 den

Shoes - New Look

Tuesday

 I seem to be in black and white again?! Classic dress.

 Dress 24 - Asos Curve

Top 20 - Primark

Leggings 20 - South / Very

Boots - Asos

Thursday

 So I've got a new phone, and although technically the camera should be better than my old one, as far as I can tell it's way worse.

 A bit unfortunate but never mind. Everyone has this shirt. I quite like it, but it's slightly tricky to wear without looking a bit odd because it has a big and tall Harry Hill style collar!

 Shirt 24 - Asos Curve

Jeans 22 - Asos curve

Boots - Dorothy Perkins

Friday

 I look miserable but it's 'cause I'm trying to take a decent photo and I have to stand VERY still!

 I went for dinner with my colleague so I wore a pretty dress!

 God Fischers in Marylebone is so lovely!

Nom nom herbal lemonade!

 Cardi 20 - Primark

Dress 24 - Vinatge

Leggings 20 - Primark

Boots - asos

Saturday

Working on a Saturday? Damn those special events! Kidding, kidding, ain't nothin' but a thang!

Top & vest 20 - Primark

Cardi 24 - George

Jeans 22 - Dorothy Perkins

Boots - New Look

That's it folks - I'm off on Holiday at some ungodly hour in the morning and I don't know if I will have internet access so I've scheduled a music post and I will see you in just over a week with some (hopefully) awesome holiday pics! xx

Wardrobe weekly

 Monday

I don't need an excuse to wear Anna Scholz double silk.

It seemed to match my hair quite well

Dress 22 - Anna Scholz White Label

Leggings 20 - South / Very

Boots - Yours

 Tuesday

I wore this Domino Dollhouse dress because I realised that I haven't worn it for ages and I was deciding whether to keep it or sell it.

Dress 2XL - Domino Dollhouse

Leggings 20 - Primark

Boots - Asos

Wednesday

Ummmm ping pong forever.

SO I had a couple of minutes to take some proper photographs of my outfit on Wednesday....

I was glad to be able to get a decent shot of my new coat - It's one of the only things I kept from my mammoth H&M+ order. It's from the sale and is now sold out I'm afraid, but it's a size 28 (ahem) and it's just what I was looking for.

 So you can see my cellulite ridden thighs in these trousers, but do I care? Hell no!

 I fact I love these trousers and I already can't wait to wear them again.... this time in an even more obnoxious way!

I like them with grey, so I wore my newish jumper and my glittery lightning bolt earrings.

Coat 28 - H&M+
Jumper 3XL - Forever 21+
Trousers 24 - George
Boots - Primark
Earrings - Black Heart Creatives (bespoke)

Thursday

I hadn't been an aztec cowgirl for a while, so it was time!

I only ever seem to wear this shirt with this skirt?!

I thought I'd tie the shirt up rather than tuck it in so it would be a bit more interesting.

Rope detail!

Shirt size? - Vintage

Skirt 20 - Primark

Leggings XL - H&M

Boots - Primark

 Friday

I decided to wear my kelly Brook for Simply Be dress on Friday for a date with my boyfriend.

This is one of the comfiest pretty dresses that I own, and it's quite thick fabric so it's good for this time of year.

Plenty of room in the skirt for a big belly!

Too cold for sleeveless so I had to add a little cardi!

Dress 22 - Simply Be

Cardi 18 - Dorothy Perkins

Tights XL - Primark 100 den

Boots - Taking Shape

Saturday

I can't show you my valentines outfit because it's for our eyes only. Valentines was also my boyfriends 30th birthday - witness his magnificent birthday omelette!

I changed in the evening into something more sensible

Jumpsuit 24 - George

Cardi 20 - Primark

Sunday

Dress 20 - Asos Curve

Leggings XL - H&M

A song for Parsnip, episode 4 - Romance

Happy Valentines guys! Let's get romantic shall we? Here are my favourite slow jams for a bit of a romantic interlude....

The Isley Brothers - For the love of you

Chocolate Milk - Out among the stars

Ohio Player - Heaven must be like this

Jamiroquai - Everyday

Omar - There's nothing like this

Esperanza Spalding - Cinnamon tree

India Arie - Brown Skin

Teddy Pendergrass - Love TKO

Minnie Riperton - Inside my love

Marvin Gaye - Come live with me angel

Al Green - Can't get next to you

Bob Marley - Turn your lights down low

Corrine Bailey Rae - Closer

Ciara - body Party

Musiq Soulchild - Sobeautiful

Cassandra Wilson - You move me

Janet Jackson - Any time any place

t

D'angelo - Untitled (how does it feel).... Sorry Jessica, I couldn't add the video version 'cause it'snot the full song and it annoys me that it's an edit - I wanted the whole 7 minutes!

Alicia Keys & Maxwell - Fire we make

Maxwell - Submerge:till we become the sun

A song for Parsnip, episode 3 - Let's get it on

I thought it might be fun to add some sexy playlists before the break up one, and I'll start with the full on sexy tunes first. Tomorrow I'll add the smoother and more romantic favorites. I'm not going to add any comments to these.... they all make me want to take my clothes off and that's explanation enough! It's all R&B / hip hop and it'll start slow then get more intense, and my choices are often about the beats. Just sayin'.

Don't let me into my zone....

Janelle Monae feat Miguel - Prime Time

Kelly Rowland feat Lil Wayne - Motivation

Ciara feat Ludacris - Ride

J Cole feat Miguel - Power Trip

Rihanna feat Future - Loveeeee song

Miguel - Sure thing

The Roots - Break you off

J Cole feat Missy Elliott - Nobody's perfect

Usher feat Rick Ross - Lemme See

Lil Wayne feat Drake - She Will

Schoolboy Q - Studio

Ludacris - Helluva night (could only get the damn clean version!)

Childish Gambino - IV. Sweatpants

A$AP Rocky - F**kin' Problems

Jay z feat Rick Ross - Fuckwithmeyouknowigotit

Beyonce - Diva

Rihanna - Birthday Cake

Danny Brown - Dip

A song for Parsnip, episode 2 - Love

Following on from my Last music post I thought I'd theme this one for Valentines Day. I don't make a fuss about Valentines because it's my boyfriends birthday, but I love him very much so songs about love feel appropriate. These are songs about full-on love... not unrequited love or heartbreak, and I think it's tricky to find songs like this. Most 'love songs' are pretty melancholy (which is awesome) but for me, because I'm in a relationship where the love is mutual I appreciate songs that celebrate love rather than mourning it. This edition is therefore about requited love, but it will quickly be followed by one about my favourite tear-jerkers!

"You and I are lovers, and night time folds around our bed

In peace we sleep entwined, and your love flows through me

Though an ocean soothes my head, I burn for you"

As I mentioned in my last post, my boyfriend is a musician.... I think that's one of the reasons that we sometimes speak to each-other through music and lyrics. Some people think that sort of thing is tacky and embarrassing, but it's an emotional language that we both understand, and it's my version of romance! He once sent me the lyrics of this song by Sting late at night, and I was just so full of love for him when I read them. I Burn for you is such a lovely song. He loves the live version of the original arrangement, but I adore this version from Symphonicities.

"When you're on the outside baby and you can't get in

I will show you, you're so much better than you know

When you're lost and you're alone, and you can't get back again

I will find you darling, and I'll bring you home"

So now we have a song that really resonates with me. I'm so lucky to not have any struggles with my mental health, but when you fall in love with someone who does you have to learn how to deal with it, and to me By Your Side by Sade is a perfect example of someone who is not only offering love, but also support and kindness to someone who needs it. 

"I don't wanna bore you with it, ooh but I love you I love you I love you!"

Stevie Wonder is the king of love mutual-love songs! I could add tons... You and I / Love having you around / I love every little thing about you / I was made to love her / Joy inside my tears.... the list is endless, but I'll stick to just a couple of my favourites! If me and my boyfriend had a song the way some cheesy couples do, then it would be this one - Knocks me off my feet.

"You are the flame in my heart

You light my way in the dark

You are the ultimate star

You lift me up from above

Your unconditional love

Takes me to paradise"

I entirely love this song, I love Lenny Kravitz. It doesn't take much explanation... I belong to you is the name after all, but I think it's adaptable - It could be about a partner or a child, because it's nothing to do with sex, just unconditional love!

"I never knew what love was all about until I met you"

I had to put some swing in here. Tony Bennett has written so many great tunes, but I have to choose Sarah Vaughn singing Until I met you with Count Basie because it's awesome!

Who would've known that a boy like him, would have entered me lightly, restoring my blisses?

Who would have known that a boy like him, after sharing my core, would stay going nowhere?

You know I'm going to have Bjork in every playlist right?! Cocoon is such a pretty and gentle song about love. If you occasionally like to have very romantic love-making sessions then may I recommend the album this song is from called Vespertine!

"Turn me inside out, make my heart speak

Don't want no one else, you are all I need

Personality in everything you do 

Makes me love everything 'bout you"

One in a Million by Aaliyah is a great all-rounder because it's got good loved up lyrics but it's written & produced by Missy Elliott and Timberland so it's got nice booming base and a cool groove. too

"I'll be there when your hair turn grey"

I find it hard to explain why Sea Sick Steve's Under a blue and cloudless sky makes me so emotional, but it's to do with his simple expression of love. It's such unpretentious romance that you know it's deeply felt by the man who wrote and sings it. I just get it, and it's gets me!

"I hope you know I'd gladly go anywhere you take me
It's so amazing to be loved
I'd follow you to the moon in the sky above"

Luther Vandross had the most creamy voice of all time, and So amazing is a straight laced and non-complicated love song about someone who he adores. It's so cheesy that it's almost ridiculous, but it's still lush. It also includes some of the silliest lyrics ever (Bye bye sadness, hello mellow) which I find endlessly hilarious!

"Stripped of all makeup, no need for fancy clothes
No cover-ups, push-ups, with him I don't have to put on a show"

This is a little snifter of my RnB loving youth. I wasn't too fussed about Christina Aguillera but I thought her Stripped album had some good songs on it and Loving me for me is my favourite. I stand by this song even though it already sounds pretty dated, because I think the lyrics are good even if it is a bit cheesy. It's about someone loving you for who you are on the inside. Make your own minds up!

"He Gives me everything, and tenderly
The kiss my lover brings, he brings to me
And I love him, and I love him"

I was going to put this song in my favourite covers playlist, but I decided to keep it for this one because it's such a lovely love song. This is a delicious song originally by the Beatles (And I love her), and changed up by Esther Phillips. I love most versions of And I love him, but the Shirley Horn version one is so smooth and seductive that it takes the crown!

"I'll be loving you always
Until the rainbow burns the stars out in the sky. Always
Until the ocean covers every mountain high. Always
Until the dolphin flies and parrots live at sea. Always
Until we dream of life and life becomes a dream"

Nobody has ever written a song with such an emphatic declaration of love as Stevie did with As. For such a bouncy and joyous song to be so emotionally stirring is kind of unusual. If I could put the deep well of love I feel for my boyfriend into words then it would sound something like this.... in earnest. This song is a total masterpiece and is therefore a good way to finish this post!


Come back soon for the Heartbreak edition!.

Wardrobe weekly

 Monday

Autumnal colours for a winters day 'cause I march to the beat of my own drum......

 ..... or wanted to wear my big warm boots so just chucked on something that matched!

 I'm quite enjoying the cold weather and wrapping up for it, but I have to say that It makes me not care so much about how I dress!

Dress 22-24 - Ebay

Leggings 20 - Primark

Boots - Crocs

Tuesday

 Finally I saw some snow!

 I like this outfit - It felt quite classic casual for winter in the UK.

 I'm not sure I've worn these boots on the blog before - they're pretty old. Sorry you can't see them properly, they're pretty weird!

 So this jumper is from H&M and it's from their standard collection in size XL (which is a UK 22-24).....

 .... now compare the jumper to these chinos from the H&M plus range. UK size 28 apparently. Total bullshit. Their plus range is a disgrace!

Jumper XL - H&M

Jeans 22 - Dorothy Perkins

Boots - Ecco

Earrings - Primark

Wednesday

Super cold weather outfit!

Jumper 20 - Primark

Jeans 22 - Dorothy Perkins

Boots - Crocs

Thursday

Another jeans and jumper combo... like I said, I haven't been too bothered about outfits this week, I just wanted to be warm!

I would like more sweaters like this - they're warm but thin enough to go under big coats without over heating!

Yet another picture where you can't actually see my boots. I meant to take a close-up but work pesky work got in the way.

Wearing my massive old-lady studio glasses.

Jumper 20 - Primark

Jeans 22 - Dorothy Perkins

Boots - Ecco

 Friday

This is in no way the outfit I wanted to wear to show off this lovely skirt, but my attempts to find a striped shirt to go with it (and style-steal from Sienna Miller) has been a total failure!

All I want is a soft striped shirt with long sleeves that is smart, loose and flowing. Too much to ask if you're above a size 18 it seems :(

Anyway, the skirt is from Simply be, it's £35 and it's nice and comfy. It's stretchy but for some mad reason it has a zip on the side, which almost ruin's the shape, but I got the 24 so it's got enough looseness to not crease on the side too much. It's a bit of a shame because the 22 looked nicer apart from the side with the zip!

I nipped to the British Museum on Friday afternoon and them met my fella for some totally lush grub at the hare and tortoise (Brunswick Centre) so I could have plum wine spritzer and Laksa. Too yummy!

I then got really excited when I found a bubble tea shop round the corner - I've wanted to try a bubble tea for ages, and this was just so very delicious!

Jumper 20 - Primark

Skirt 24  & boots - Simply Be

Leggings 22 - South / Very

Necklace - homemade & very old!

Saturday

I decided to try a dip dye. The first stage was bleach to lighten the bottom (which I didn't do very well... not surprisingly!) so I could add a bright orange / ginger to the bottom. It was already a ginger -toned blond so it was slightly pointless but....

Sunday

So here it is. Uneven and underwhelming. I dunno. I don't hate it but I'm not excited about it either, but I'm glad I finally did it, I've been wanting to try it for ages! I think this might be a good opportunity to start dying my hair a slightly lighter brown. I chose to go dark again because it's easier to deal with my white hairs, but I'm bored of the almost black and I want something warmer. Dark Chestnut next time maybe!