What a pile of poo!

There are no words for how excited I was about the 2 new Ruby rocks for Simply Se dresses I ordered recently. When I got them home tonight to try on I was so gutted! I look a bit crazed in these shots - I haven't had a good evening (not just clothes related I promise!).

This dress is okay, but it's so very short! I know Ruby rocks goes in for short dresses, and in a skater style I think it works, but for me this fitted style is just too short.

I'm sure it will float lots of other ladies boats (I probably would have kept it if the skirt was longer) but for me it's too much. low cut AND tight AND short. I might go in for one or two of those things at a time, but all 3 together makes me look and feel too tarty. Not for me! This is a stretch jersey fabric btw.

 Oh my lord did this make me angry. This dress is basically a maternity dress.....

 .... I'm not saying this because it just happens to emphasise my big belly (yes sometimes I get offered a seat on the train because of it!) but because it has pleats at the side designed for a big pregnant belly!

 It's really hard to get a picture which show the pleats......

....but they are there, sewn into the side seams in horizontal lines right on the belly. I'm so disappointed in this, and simply be you should be ashamed of yourselves!  How dare you sell me a dress designed like maternity wear! If this had been in anyway represented on the website images I wouldn't have wasted my postage on it!

 This is a rather smooth front for a dress with huge pleats along the side seams don't you think?! I don't want to look like a pregnant lady thank you very much. Oh and it also squished my boobs, despite bieng a size 24! Mutha Funkers! this fabric only has a tiny bit of stretch btw, and it's lined with stretch fabric.

Now then... ASOS curve, not much fuckin' better!

Hands down the worst item I have ever tried from ASOS curve. A travesty! Firstly, it is about fucking time that ASOS sorted out their models. This dress is so clearly pinned to within an inch of it's life on the model (which is why the sleeves look much longer on her) and putting a size 20 on a size 14 model then pinning it is misleading to customers. And don't you DARE try to tell us that your models are a size 20, because we have eyes, and its is a barefaced lie if you do! As far as I'm aware there is not a single plus sized woman who wants to see plus size clothes modelled by slim women. Yes they are all very beautiful, but they don't fit the clothes properly. You must get SO many returns because of this?!

Frumpy. Badly cut. Hugely uncomfortable. If this had been made of thick jersey or Ponte the general style might have worked, but this horrid rigid stretch cotton type fabric is awful. Who designes this shit? I would make a bet that he / she ain't plus sized!

Oh, and did I mention that the belt that comes with is that awful type you find on vintage dresses that feels like it's made of cardboard?! HOW DARE YOU SELL THIS TAT TO ME ASOS! I expect so much more from the Curve collection.

 These leggings just aren't for me. I had to crab walk to get this picture, because the noise as the sequins touched between my thighs was dreadful! I kind of thought that these would be thick material - I know they're leggings but they are very thin on the back, which freaks me out when they're so very heavy at the front. I was terrified of trying these on, because they just felt like they could rip at any moment! On the plus side I love the off the shoulder tee-shirt. nice thick fabric, so comfy, and works with all my trousers!

The other thing I was surprised by was that the sequins are much more sparse than they look from far away, I wasn't expecting to see so much netting through them! These look so good on ladies without as many lumps & bumps as me, but from my point of view they are just way too delicate and impractical!

 I'm not sold on this top..... I think I'm just not the right shape for big peplums! It's too full at the bottom, and the neck looks a bit odd -  I think that is partly due to the arms being very tight on me.

The other odd thing about this top is that in the summer (when it's quite hot... obviously) the more subtle sleeveless peplum tops from asos (of which I have 2) were made of thick fabric - a bit like a thin ponte, but this winter long sleeved version is extremely thin jersey. I don't like it on me, but I think ladies who are smaller on the top and bigger on the bottom would look good in it - it makes my upper body look massive and my lower body look much smaller - which is definitely not the case!

I won't give up - I know that there are some amazing plus sized clothes out there, but with the exception of the black t-shirt all of this stuff is going straight back to sender!